


In the Mourning

by smarter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 11:47:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21243578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smarter/pseuds/smarter
Summary: "There are many things on my mind at this particular moment, Hermione." Like if Draco was hiding a Dark Mark on his arm. If this thing he didn't want to do involved Voldemort and Harry in any way. Where he ran off to every night…





	In the Mourning

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written and posted on FF.net in January 2012, I'm just migrating it over! Also this is a songfic, I used to THRIVE on songfics. Enjoy!

_you escape like a runaway train_  
_off the tracks and down again_  
_ and my heart's beating like a steam boat tugging_  
_ all your burdens on my shoulders_

Draco Malfoy never was one to let a person see his soul. He always kept his secrets locked tight in the corner of his brain nobody was allowed access to. There was somebody who found the key, though. It was like finding a needle in a haystack, but eventually Luna Lovegood pried that door open. There were times, in solitary moments, she regretted being one of the only people Draco opened up to. He had secrets she didn't want to keep, but because of the way she felt about him, she knew she had to. Luna wanted to save him from himself and the only way she could do that was to let things run their course. It was something she struggled with everyday. He never told her anything too specific, but she could tell it had something to do with his family and Voldemort; she had a sixth sense that way.

She almost told Hermione once. They were in the Great Hall for Lunch and Hermione had caught her staring at the blonde boy across the room; he really was just a boy back then. Draco may have been a sixth year, but he was still a boy. Hermione had caught her staring, but Luna assumed she had taken it as the blonde being lost in her thoughts again as she had asked her what was on her mind.

"There are many things on my mind at this particular moment, Hermione." Like if Draco was hiding a Dark Mark on his arm. If this thing he didn't want to do involved Voldemort and Harry in any way. Where he ran off to every night… Luna _almost _told the bushy haired brunette all of this, that is until she saw Draco look up from the table and right at her. She felt her heart sink and decided breaking a promise wouldn't be wise. "Currently, however, I'm thinking about Dabberblimps." she said instead. This seemed to satisfy the other girl as she grinned and shook her head, returning to the food in front of her.

No, Luna would never tell another soul about her relationship with Draco and what he had told her in confidence. She took that to his grave.

_and now there's nothing but time that's wasted_  
_and words that have no backbone_  
_ and now it seems like the whole world's waiting_  
_ can you hear the echoes fading_

She remembered that morning clear as day. The morning the whole world went dark; or what she thought was dark at the time. Draco hadn't come to breakfast, and that's when she knew. Even on his darkest days, he always managed to make it to breakfast to fake a snide remark or two. She knew something was severely wrong and she had to go to their meeting place because she knew he would be there. She stuffed a few pieces of fruit in her bag so the others would think she was just off to give the thestrals a snack, and hurried out of the Great Hall.

"It's going to happen today isn't it?" Luna asked him in her quiet voice once she met him in the clearing in the forest.

Draco was sitting on the ground, his back against a tree, arms wrapped around his bent knees. He looked up at her with the saddest look in his eyes, something Luna didn't know he was capable of until that moment. "What do you think is going to happen today, Luna?" he asked as she knelt down next to him, placing a hand on his.

"I don't know," she answered honestly, "but I know it makes you upset." Luna hesitated for a moment. She had always respected his privacy. Always knew that there were things he just couldn't tell her. But in this moment, Luna felt like she needed to know. She needed to know what was eating him up inside because this was definitely something a wrackspurt dance couldn't cure. "Can you tell me?"

A breath had passed before Draco had dropped his head and leaned into her shoulder. Crying was never something Luna had ever wanted to witness from Draco Malfoy, but crying was what she was getting. She repositioned herself, sitting next him against the tree, bringing a hand to cradle his face, the other softly stroking his hair. They sat like that for a few minutes, Luna holding him as he cried, she herself biting her lip to keep herself from giving into her tears of empathy.

"They want me to kill somebody I don't want to, Luna." He murmured against her shoulder, choking back a sob. "I thought I did. I thought I hated this place, but I don't. I don't want this, Luna. You have to believe me." He had sat up to look her in the eye. Any other person wouldn't have believed him. She did.

"I believe you." she said, wiping a tear from his cheek with her thumb as a tear of her own escaped her watery eyes. It was no use trying to hold them back anymore. The one person she cared the most about in this world had a world of his own crumbling around him and she couldn't put the walls back up quick enough. "Tell me why, Draco. Why does this person have to die at your hands?"

He closed his eyes, trying to compose himself. "You know why," Draco said in the steeliest voice he could muster as he held out his arm.

Any tears Luna had been holding in were lost in that moment. This was her worst fear. She didn't want to lift up his sleeve because of what she knew she would find there, but her shaky hand did it anyway, her fingers grazing the Dark Mark. "I'm so sorry, Draco." she said through her tears.

"Promise me," he had placed his hands on either side of her face, "promise me you'll stay somewhere safe."

"What about you?"

"Don't worry about me. Just _promise_."

Luna nodded and Draco kissed the tears from her eyes. This would be the first and last promise she broke.

_and it takes all my strength_  
_not to dig you up from the ground in which you lay_  
_ the biggest part of me, you were the greatest thing_  
_ and now you're just a memory to let go of_

She remembers the heartache in his eyes. It's the last thing she remembers and she hates herself for it. She hates that she kept his secret and didn't tell somebody what she had suspected. Would things have been different? Would Dumbledore still be alive? If she had told Draco she loved him, would _he _still be alive? Would he have done everything he could to stay with her? Would he have betrayed his family? These questions were the reason why she was where she was now. Laying down beside his grave. She hates that she broke her promise and didn't stay away. She hates that she watched him die. They had won the war, but at what cost? Luna knew she was being selfish, but this was not how she had expected it to end.

"How did you know I'd be here?"

Hermione seemed startled for a second, but it quickly passed. "Do you remember," she started as she sat down in the grass next to Luna, "that one time in Advanced Potions-"

"I figured you would catch on. You were always smart, Hermione Granger." Luna said, her voice devoid of any emotion.

"Well it was hard not to notice the way you two looked at each other." The brunette grinned as she looked over at the blonde witch, expecting a similar one. The only thing she got were closed eyes and tears that were silently rolling down cheeks and into the grass. "I don't understand why, Luna, but I know you loved him and I really am sorry."

Luna's silent tears had become stifled sobs and all Hermione could do was take the mourning girl's hand, hoping just her presence would be enough for now because she didn't have any comforting words left.

"He didn't want to do it, Hermione. He told me the day it happened. He didn't want to do it, but he had to. Draco Malfoy was a good person in a bad situation and nobody understands that. I was the only one who ever gave him a chance. I was the one he leaned on. I was the one he came to when nobody else was there for him, and he was the only one who ever really understood me. He never knew how much I loved him because I never got the chance. I never told him and now he's gone."

Luna cried all through nightfall. Only stopping when she fell asleep in Hermione's lap.

_in the mourning i'll rise_  
_in the mourning i'll let you die_  
_ in the mourning. all my sorry's_


End file.
